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Heard on *Local Phone Monopoly* Customer Service Call

Now I do like my *Local Phone Monopoly* company, but I have had occasion to call them any number of times when FIOS (oops!) just wasn’t working as advertised.

So I would dutifully dial the customer service number and while waiting for a real person to answer the other end, a very chipper female voice informed me that “if you are having trouble connecting to the internet with FIOS and you don’t want to stay on the phone, you can reach us at www.localphonemonopoly.com…..”

But wait! I’m having trouble connecting to the internet, how can I connect to www.localphonemonopoly.com?

I can see the automated clerk getting a nervous tic trying to answer that question: “Please try again, that was not a valid response. To get to the Main menu, press star….”