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How to tell a product really sucks

Easy clue: if at the end of a commercial you hear “And if you act now, we’ll throw in a second one for free!! Just pay shipping and handling.”

That’s the only clue you need.

Some fun examples

Ooops! That tricky Shipping and Handling clause ….

Maybe Cosmetic surgeons should offer this with implants! ūüôā

Solving the Oil Crisis

Uh-oh, seems like a dropping price in oil is a bad thing, because it must mean that economies are slowing down! Are we nuts?

Ok, America uses 60% of all the oil produced every day. That’s a lot of oil. If you remember, 3 years ago GM announced that they had invented a car that could get 230 mpg. That could go a looooong way in reducing oil consumption by us fat cats and be more responsible. But I think this car is vaporware.

So I have a better idea: ban individually wrapped slices of American cheese. Think of all the oil that must go into creating the plastic sheets that get luxuriously folded around each slice of cheese.

Plus, if you’ve ever actually eaten cheese, you’ll come to realize, this stuff is not really cheese anyway.

On balancing the federal budget ….

Cutting the budgetAs much as we all may distrust the 536 folks charged with setting policy, there are rational agenda-free offices within the government doing a bang up job and quietly making interesting though potentially controversial suggestions on fixing the very institutions they work for. More on these folks later.

Our sputtering economy is tops on everyone’s minds these days. And I applaud both the Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street movements for venting their frustrations. This is America; this is a country built upon the premise that everyone has a voice. The problem with both movements is that in their frustration they rail against institutions that grant these rights and freedoms and their stridency while applaudable is not built upon promoting actionable solutions. Instead they are founded on the premise that¬†that which¬†they find objectionable must be torn down or removed. The government just can’t stop spending money tomorrow. Wall Street can’t stop working tomorrow or pull all paychecks. It’s not black and white, it’s 256 shades of gray. And it’s in recognizing and solving for gray that real workable solutions can be achieved.

Let’s face it, whether we like it or not, we’re all (well, maybe almost all) in this together and there are always workable solutions. This is a country that came of age and became a world leader because we were more industrious, more¬†clever. We threw caution to the wind and came up with better more effective solutions. The time is ripe for being clever again. The time is ripe for making tough decisions and leading again by example. There is no better way to lead than by putting your money where your mouth is.Lincoln Memorial under construction

Let’s take the deficit and our debt issue…..

Continue reading On balancing the federal budget ….

Finally!! Truth in Advertising! :)

There’s a radio commercial bouncing around on the airwaves with a woman talking to her dishwasher (yes, I know, it happens every day). She wants a new kitchen, the dishwasher is pleading with her not to throw him away. They are in agreement that the dishwasher has done everything asked of it, is still dependable, still a quality machine, ……


The woman rejoins that “Today,¬†appearance is¬†everything.”

Doesn’t that just about sum it all up? Appearance¬†is everything. Quality is out the window, despite the fact that this dishwasher works and works well, looks are everything. So why should a manufacturer care about how the product works? Appearance is everything. And so thus we have skin care creams that will wipe your wrinkles away in 14 days¬†…….. no, wait! 1 week¬†…….. no, wait! overnight¬†…….. no, wait! 90 seconds! Wipe those wrinkles away in 90 seconds! Go from being 60 to 25 in 90 seconds! Appearance is everything and upgrading (no worries, friend! We can give you instant credit, no money down!) hinges on instant gratification (or the promise thereof).

Regrettably, this is about as truthful an ad as I’ve heard in a long time. It’s this unsustainable thinking that got us where we are today (everyone a millionaire and no one rich). We need to rethink the basics.

Advertising’s Leaps of Faith

Listen carefully to a commercial and you will invariably hear that one¬†sentence in which the¬†starting “fact” has nothing to do with the¬†concluding evidence. It’s advertiser’s “leap of faith”.

But before we jump in, a few basic tenets about advertising that we all need to carefully consider and fully understand:

Continue reading Advertising’s Leaps of Faith

Bad Greed: A Baseball Analogy

We’ve all been there, that is, all of us baseball fans …

The home team is down by a run or tied, it’s getting late in the game and our boys haven’t been doing such a great job lately of pushing runs across. Suddenly we have men on second and third, no outs, and the meat of the order coming up. What happens? A dribbler to the pitcher. One out. Strikeout. Two outs. Strikeout. Three outs. Rally dead. Everyone was swinging for the fences.

Where’s the analogy? Each of our boys when they went up to bat had greed on their minds. They wanted a hit. They wanted that 2-run scoring single, double, triple or 3-run home run. Everyone else is looking for contact: “just push the ball to the right side of the infield and the go-ahead run scores”. Do what’s best for the team, get the run home.

Bad greed promotes the individual to the detriment of his team, his peers, his community.