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She just doesn’t get it

YankeeStadiumConcessionStandYankee Stadium, right smack dab in the middle of the dog days of summer. My turn to go to the food court and get a couple of dogs and beers. A couple of long lines and one short one. Hmmm, tough choice.

Yeah, but I should have known better. Like schools of fish avoiding a barracuda, crowds figure out which lines to avoid.

So there’s one customer in front of me and the girl disappears. And she’s gone. And she’s gone, and we’re looking at each other wondering if she’s coming back. Ahh, she does, clears something on the register, gives the customer their food and receipt.

And as I finally make it to the counter, she takes a large can of beer drippings and heads off for the kitchen. Minutes go by. She returns with a mop. She disappears again. The folks in the line next to me ask me if I want to order. The guy handling the line next to me asks as well. I defer as she finally returns. The guy says to the girl, “Hey, you have customers.”

And she snaps back at him, “Customers are not as important as Clarisse, my boss. She can fire me.”

Sad, I thought. She just doesn’t get it.

 

HIV testing

So it’s a law in New York that if you are admitted into an emergency room in a New York hospital, the staff HAS TO ask you if you’d like a HIV test performed while you’re there.

  • Mind you, the hospital won’t pay for the testing, that’s on you (but they don’t tell you that, at least, initially).
  • Mind you, age is no barrier: they will ask you if you’re 12 years old (Sheesh!!).
  • Mind you, the law just states that they just have to ask and show proof that they did ask (appropriate forms must be filled).

My question: with all that’s going on politically, economically, socially in this country, in this state, who was the Einstein who came up with this brainstorm and then believed this little time-saving nugget of an achievement was worth authoring and fighting for?

Priorities amuck

So we go through this hand-wringing exercise at the end of every summer with our public school system: the kids cannot afford to miss preseason practice because they will miss games. A couple of years ago we went away during the last week of August for a major family reunion and the kids did not play in the first few games of the season until they attained a specific number of days of practice.

Now again we are going away for just Labor Day weekend (again big family get-together) and there is bitching and disgruntledness over the decision.

I am a big sports fan and I do get it, but question is: shouldn’t we be setting these kinds of high bars on the (admittedly more important, and reason for being there in the first place) educational side of the house?

 

Heard on *Local Phone Monopoly* Customer Service Call

Now I do like my *Local Phone Monopoly* company, but I have had occasion to call them any number of times when FIOS (oops!) just wasn’t working as advertised.

So I would dutifully dial the customer service number and while waiting for a real person to answer the other end, a very chipper female voice informed me that “if you are having trouble connecting to the internet with FIOS and you don’t want to stay on the phone, you can reach us at www.localphonemonopoly.com…..”

But wait! I’m having trouble connecting to the internet, how can I connect to www.localphonemonopoly.com?

I can see the automated clerk getting a nervous tic trying to answer that question: “Please try again, that was not a valid response. To get to the Main menu, press star….”

How to tell a product really sucks

Easy clue: if at the end of a commercial you hear “And if you act now, we’ll throw in a second one for free!! Just pay shipping and handling.”

That’s the only clue you need.

Some fun examples

Ooops! That tricky Shipping and Handling clause ….

Maybe Cosmetic surgeons should offer this with implants! πŸ™‚

Been Away

What can I say? I been away. Not sure there’s much else to say but that I’ve got reverse writer’s block. Rather than having absolutely nothing to say and not knowing how to say it, I have the reverse situation: I have too much to say, but I’m not sure I want to say it.

I’ve spent my entire life being an optimist or at least looking at the bright side of things, especially when they go down hill. But these days, I feel beaten down. Oh, I have lots to be happy and thankful (great family, friends and job – what more does a guy need, I ask ya?), I really do.

But it’s when I look out around me and I see all the crap that’s going on, it’s tough to keep a positive attitude. I see Congress write 2,000 page bills and I scratch my head thinking “Why does something as simple as that bill consume 2,000 pages?” Well, because lawmakers have to throw their pork and crap into it. They can’t leave well-enough alone. The problem is: this is how business gets done (it’s how the governor of Wisconsin snuck a right-to-do-whatever-I-want-and-call-it-“for-the-good-of-the-state” clause in the union-busting bill a month ago).

Sadly, we are in a place now where the only things that will ever get made (or done) are those that generate money. It will have nothing to do with “for the good of mankind”. So, oil is here to stay until we run out. If cellphones require precious minerals in their production, we will rip up the crust of the earth to get those minerals, until we run out. If Yellowstone National Park or a specific beach on Maui were the only places where one could find those precious mineral, ooops, too bad, you know there would liens put on those places and they would be inundated with backhoes in a matter of days). Heaven forbid there might be a better undiscovered need for those minerals.

Look, I’m saddened by our fanatical rush to greed, by our headstrong haste to embrace gossip, rumor and everything insubstantial.

I just don’t know where to start. Like Hercules being tasked with changing the course of a river, is it possible to get people to think again? To be real people again? To lead productive lives rather than waste theirs vicariously reliving other lesser-spirited people’s scripted reality-TV stories?

Is it possible to compel the media to shut up and just give us the facts? I don’t want their opinions, because -I hate to say it- none of their opinions have any value.

I’m back. Just looking for a voice to shout with. It’s awfully loud in this here Internet cloud with everyone clamoring for your attention! πŸ™‚